Jumping into the void

“Open the safe and take the money,” the original inspiration for this card, was a message transmitted to me via Moriah Marston from “The Tibetan,” Djwal Khul . I have understood this statement to mean an alchemical moment when all is possible if willing to take the chance. Selecting this card suggests that your life may be headed for a powerful change in which your dreams are transformed to reality.

There are times in life when it feels as if in order to get what we want, we have to take on huge risk. We have all experienced a lot of change both welcomed and unwelcomed over the past two years. In my own life I am contemplating what the next era will hold. Will it include an actual physical move, a reshuffling of work and schedule, or both?

Recently I went through a box of keepsakes that included an early prototype of my inspiration cards. I believe they were created about 10-15 years ago. It was an interesting trip through that phase of my life. Many things that held my attention at that time have since been resolved. However, there are several issues such as incomplete creative projects and environmental and social justice causes that I still wish to pursue.

I wrote in an earlier post about the life change I underwent in 2002 when I moved from Boston to a suburb of Hartford. I experienced a lot of grief, frustration and anger even though I knew it was the right move for me. At the time I felt like I needed a more reliable source of income, more space around me, more time in nature, and an opportunity to reconnect with my family. All of these things have happened but there is still a part of me that is not completely settled. There is still more I need to experience and accomplish in my life.

It is this feeling of longing for something more that is leading me down the path of change. My counselor and mentor at the time, the late Moriah Marston, referred to it as “midlife crisis.” When I moved to CT in 2002, I was in midlife and I did feel as though I was in crisis. Hearing “Open the safe and take the money” felt like outlaw energy that gave me the courage to jump into the void.

These days, “the void” doesn’t seem quite so scary. I am helped out by the energetic support of shamanism, tapping, and perhaps learning how to work with reiki. The energetic balance for me right now is more yin than yang. It makes sense to take time and examine what I would like my next chapter to look like. The safe is locked for now but I’m still adding inspiration and insight to it. Meanwhile, I welcome in this year of change.

The Inspiration for Violinists card deck
This “open the safe” card is part of a 50 card deck. Every card has a unique image and text inspiring musicianship, mindfulness and spirituality.

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